Great success story?

I graduated from NCSSM in '94 and on their FB Alumni Page the other day a fellow alum (I think) whom I guess does some PR work for the school posted asking for folks to share about 'success stories' of alumni for the school to use particularly those from WNC.

It started a pretty cool thread and we got to hear about some of the really amazing and inspiring things alumni from the school are doing.  We got doctors, astronauts, CEOs of food pantries, folks with PhDs doing amazing things at universities all over the country.  And hell it's really cool in a lot of ways, but one guy posed the question?  What's a success story?  I've been married now 20 years, got a great family, steady job in the rail industry, couple good kids.  Is that not a success?

So he got me thinking, that yeah that is a hell of a success.  I fit that bill, I don't know his back story but I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished in my nearly 45 years.  I certainly won't fit the profile they are looking for to raise money for NCSSM and likely their new launch of the Morganton Campus, which I am very much opposed to, but that ship has sailed.  I'm a firm believer in lead, follow or get the hell out of the way so on that particular issue I chose the latter option.

I got off track there of what I wanted to say here in this blog post.  It's easy in life to undervalue your success, sure there are those rare folks that over value their success, but most folks have an inner voice that is more likely to point out what others have done and you have not.  For me I hear my grandfather's voice saying 'Dammit Buddy!' to this day when I do something colossally stupid.  Now don't get me wrong I know he'd be proud of my accomplishments, but his voice also imho keeps me somewhat grounded.

One of his favorite sayings was you'll never love anyone or anything until you first learn to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are.  That sounds super simple and easy but I can tell you it ain't at all.  The world is full of people who not only don't love themselves but for damn sure ain't comfortable with who they are.  He'd always admonish that if you choose to put your worth on some thing, money, sports, relationships, that will fail.  There will always be someone richer, faster, stronger, better looking, more whatever.  You gotta know who you are and what you are and be good with that to then be able to love.  I'd add that to you need that to be satisfied and content in life, the less comfortable you are with yourself the less space you have to be gracious to others and yourself.

I think about this saying an awful lot since I first saw it a few years ago:

You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. The point is whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out. Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which will happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled. So, we have to ask ourselves, “what’s in my cup?” When life gets tough, what spills out? … You choose!

Author Unknown

So the better question I'd like to see posed and answered in our alumni features is who's cups are overflowing and how are they sharing that with the world?

Without a doubt my cup doesn't always spill out with goodness.  I know damn well it spills out with goodness more than it used to, but it should always which it doesn't.  I still struggle with the being comfortable with who and what I am or that thread wouldn't have gotten to me and lead to this post. 

Honest assessment and feedback are how you grow even if you're providing it to yourself.  IMHO if you don't think you got any improvements to make you'd do well to seek someone trustworthy to provide you with some feedback and honest assessments.